Breastfeeding. The natural thing. The thing women have been doing for thousands of years. The thing babies and women were designed to do. So why is it so dang hard?
If you are a woman who struggled to breastfeed, you are absolutely not alone! My oldest child Liam is 5 years old as I am writing this. I became his mom, exactly one week after my 21st birthday. So clearly I knew everything and was mother of the year. SYKEEEEE. You knew that was garbage though, didn't you? I thought, women who can't nurse are lazy, don't want what's best for their baby, aren't trying hard enough, blah blah blah. Basically anything a know it all, judgmental youngster would say. Until I experienced it first hand. It started in the hospital. I grew up and delivered my first child in a small town. Our hospital, which is now considered one of the 300 some "baby-friendly" hospitals in the country, didn't have actual lactation consultants on staff. Do you see where I am going with this perhaps? No, stay with me. They have OBs, Pediatricians, & Nurses who had taken a course to help nursing mothers. Yes, you read that right, a course. Now, I do not know the full extent, but I took a psychology course in college. Does that make me a psychologist? The answer is no. Moving along.
I had trouble latching Liam the first couple of days in the hospital. He was also born at 35 weeks and 5 days, making him a preterm baby. Many premature/pre term babies have difficulty nursing. I got him to latch a tad, but it was painful. I felt that these people who had been "so well trained" were offering me no help at all.
When we got home, I started pumping. I was embarrassed to nurse in public. He took the pumped milk very well, but still wasn't latching right. I eventually did some digging, and discovered a nipple shield. I purchased one & boom! Nursing baby.
He was nursing, gaining weight. Things were good. For awhile...Those shields are tricky. They leak milk everywhere. Those pumps are great, unless you're exclusively pumping. I was exhausted and moist from this "failed" attempt at nursing. If I couldn't nurse, I was a bad mom. I mean, it's natural & easy, right?
When I went back to work, things went down hill. Not only did I have to pump more, but he was eating more. Then, I started adding in solids. By the time he was 5 months old, I could barely pump anything. So, I thought I wasn't producing anything. So I quit. I called in the formula squad. I cried. I cried the first few days. I had put so much pressure on myself and I just couldn't do it. My story with Liam is not unique, but my story with Nolan is.
Nolan was born almost 4 years later. I was determined to breast feed him until at least 2. I went into it with a much different attitude. I was working part-time, I had some experience this time. I wasn't as afraid to nurse in public. Then, he was born.
I had told the nurse my problems with Liam, so I was given a shield right away. Also a pump. Due to my gestational diabetes, they checked his sugar frequently. It would drop, so I'd have to pump & feed him through a dropper. It'd go up, we were good. Then, when I requested the LC, she saw his weight was good and he seemed to be okay nursing. But wait? Of course his weight was good, he was getting pumped milk from a dropped every feed.
Then, at his 3 day visit to his pediatrician, he had dropped 10% of his birth weight. I needed to supplement with formula. WHOA. PUMP THE BREAKS LADY! Formula?! I had made it 5 months on my last failed attempt and you're telling me I can't even make it 3 days this time? I felt so defeated. I had baby blues.
He would not drink the formula and the two times he did, he spit it all up. So, I pumped him milk. My day would consist of nursing, pumping, feeding. Over and over. For nearly 5 weeks. That is until a friend told me about tongue and lip ties. What? Tongue and Lip ties?
In an attempt to make this long story shorter, he did have a tongue and lip tie, a severe one at that! We saw a preferred provider, he took a laser, fixed them, and he was good as new. He was sore for about a week. Then, with lots of practice, he started to get it. He was doing well on the shield and gaining weight. I found a breastfeeding support group through my hospital with certified lactation consultants. I eventually weaned him off the shield. When I pumped, I was actually over feeding him, so we learned to pace feed, making it easier to switch from bottle to breast. & guess what? HE HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY BREASTFEEDING NOW FOR 18 MONTHS! Yes, 18! We are 6 months away from our 2 year goal! After all of that, I can't believe it!
How many red flags went off for you? Some of you, maybe a ton, maybe none. That is why I am writing this article. To show you, we women are absolutely capable. There is actually only a small percentage who have issues with low production. In the next article, I will give advice and tips for a successful breastfeeding relationship, all things I learned from my failings with the system.
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