In Part One, I shared my breastfeeding journey. I shared how the system failed me, not once but twice. Today, I am going to dig deeper in why women have such a difficult time doing something that is supposed to be "so natural". If you haven't read part one, please do. It sets the stage for part two.
Let's start with where my journey began. In that hospital with the doctors and nurses that took a "course" in lactation. Do you know what is required to become a lactation consultant? You must complete 90 hours of lactation education. Yes, that's right 90. You must then have another 1000 hours working with women & babies, alongside a certified LC. Did you know, in medical school, doctors get around 2 hours of breastfeeding education. WAIT WHAT?! Let me reiterate, our pediatricians, OBs, family practitioners, & likely nurses, get 2 hours of breastfeeding education versus 90 hours of education of a trained LC?! You know what's more scary, we actually seek the advice of these people to help us with breastfeeding! No wonder we have such low breastfeeding rates by 6 months, and so many defeated mothers!
If you have a problem, that is out of the area of their expertise, your doctor refers you. Why aren't more doctors referring us moms who struggle, to LCs, instead of to a can of formula? This is a band aid fix! It's not hitting the heart of the solution. Why aren't LCs seeing every mom who wants to nurse in every hospital? "Baby friendly" hospitals are taking 10 hours more of the required 2 and not integrating professionals whose life work is to help mothers and babies have a successful nursing relationship. You guys, the system is failing us!
You know what's worse, we are blaming each other! Let's stop saying "fed is best", "breastfeeding is the most natural", "breast is best". We know these are all true! Breastfeeding is the biological norm, it is what our bodies are meant to do. Formula is there for those moms who CHOOSE not to breast feed. I am so thankful for formula. Do not take that out of context. However, I would be more grateful if I had had a system to send me in the right direction, help me, and support me in my breastfeeding journey. I would have not only known what a tongue & lip tie was, but my kids would have been checked for them. My first son could have had his fixed and my second son could have before he was over a month old!
I have had medical professionals tell moms they won't be able to nurse because they have a history of depression. WHAT?! Breastfeeding can lower the risk of postpartum depression. Women, like me, with polycycstic ovarian syndrome are told we may not produce enough milk. We are already told we may fail! Breastfeeding is so much more than feeding a baby. Unless a woman feels confident and truly supported, she is bound to fail. That is exactly what happened to me and so many others like me!
Let us not forget, we do birthing differently now. That is a whole other post. Let me mention, most parts of the world, in industrialized countries, use midwives. Hospitals are to be used for high risk births. Obstetricians are surgeons. Surgery is what they know. It's also easier to do a c-section, than wait around 24 hours for someone to birth a baby. Birth & breastfeeding education go hand in hand. Hospitals also use more interference: frequent checking, sterile rooms, uncomfortable birthing positions, monitors, medications that can slow down labor or increase a chance for a c-section. C-section moms often have a more difficult time nursing. They miss the skin to skin that comes with a vaginal birth and have a longer recovery time. The first hours are fairly critical to establish a good breastfeeding relationship. There are always exceptions, but a woman educated on birth, can be more confident going in, knowing what to do to establish that relationship, if a c-section were to occur.
Did you know, the United States is the only country that has hospitals sponsored by formula companies? Did you know, formula companies are constantly breaking the standards set in place by the World Health Organization in regards to advertising? You guys, I hate to be so blunt, but we need to wake up! There is no money to be had for these companies & hospitals if we have a successful breastfeeding relationship! Before I gave birth to my kids, I had coupons & sample cans of formula already. I had already begun to lose this battle!
How else did I fail? I was afraid to nurse in public. I was afraid someone who come up and say something or scoff. Every time I would nurse my second baby, I would have a huge, heavy, hot shield around me. My face would get flushed. I'd be sweaty. Irritable. Not the right mindset to be feeding my baby! Why? The sexulization of breasts didn't really begin until around the 40s & 50s. Our society is in the belief that breasts are for sex. Anything other than that is gross! Please stay with me here. If you are comfortable nursing with a shield, great, use it sister! Once I started not caring about anything other than feeding my baby, I started to have this confidence. Come at me stranger! Don't come too close, you may just be see a teeny tiny section of my nipple, that I'm sure you can't see on a Victoria Secret's Ad right there to my left....
These may seem like little things, but they impact a nursing relationship greatly! Becoming moms, not only can be challenging, but hormones make it all harder. If a mom can't nurse, she may give up, feel depressed, inadequate. Don't you see, it's not just us! I know I tried my hardest to breast feed both of my kids. It was one of the most challenging things about mothering. Yet, I was successful when I found a group of supportive, knowledgeable, empowered women & LCs.
So how can we fix this? Whether you're pregnant, trying to conceive, breast fed your children with many issues, no issues, or thought you couldn't, here are some steps in the right direction.
- Look Through the Kelly Mom Website. If you do nothing else, do this one! This site is a fabulous resource for not only issues experienced in breastfeeding, but also normal aspects of nursing that most people, including professionals, are not educated or misinformed about. (Such as cluster feeding, ties, breastfeeding while pregnant, tandem nursing, growth spurts, medications, illnesses, diseases, pumping, etc.)
- Take a breastfeeding course with your midwife or IBLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant)
- See a certified Lactation Consultant Once Baby Arrives
- Read Up on Breastfeeding (A Great Guide)
- Watch This Documentary (Free on Amazon Prime)
- Learn to Pace Feed, encouraging easy transition from the breast to bottle for working/struggling moms
- Find a Breastfeeding Support Group locally or online (Make sure they are knowledgeable, supportive, and comprehensive of the things in this article, no "band-aid" solutions)
- Most "facts" about breastfeeding are really myths. Research things you think you know and try to disprove them. You will not only learn, but can educate others & empower other women.
- If having a hospital birth, make sure they know you want to nurse, and allow lots of skin to skin time after baby is born.
- If your baby has a tie, find a preferred provider to fix it.
One last thing before we wrap up. I don't care who you are, I love you. You are an amazing mother. The fact you even clicked this link shows you want to successfully breastfeed and I hope you get there! I am writing these articles to not only share my story, but to help and show you you're not alone, to educate and empower others. Even if you do everything here and still can not successfully breastfeed, you did it mama! You tried your hardest, you learned, you grew, and you are now able to share your knowledge with others. Formula itself is not the enemy. It was there when I needed it, but there are ways to get around when you WANT to nurse. NO woman should have to feel like a failure and have to deal with such difficulty for trying to make an informed decision for her child. We should not be battling companies and professionals that work for us! Thank you for taking the time to read this, and nurse on!
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